Why is it that when things are just getting good, our instinct is to pull away? Like when you’re talking with someone you really like, and things are going well, but at some point, you or the other person, or sometimes (most of the time) both parties play hard to get — texts opened and read for hours even though you definitely wanted to respond to that message the second you got it (“Yo bro who’s got you smiling like that?”), being wishy-washy about when you’re going to meet up next, not matching your level of excitement in your messages with how excited you actually are.
This could honestly apply to romantic relationships, new friendships, or maybe even professional connections. Sometimes, genuine human connection feels too good to be true. Talking about that one specific detail from a movie you love, and someone else GETS IT. Meeting up with someone, and the conversation is FLOWING — no awkward pauses or anything. Just the two of you freaking out because you’re just out here reading each other’s minds. Joining a team of writers who are also a little too obsessed with the Oxford comma. It’s moments like these that fill us with so much joy and make us grateful to be where we are right now.
Sometimes, genuine human connection feels too good to be true.
We lack trust because we’ve been let down in life before. This isn’t our first rodeo. Dealing with the rejection seems way worse than showing our true emotions.
From a young age, we’ve had an expectation for disappointment engrained in us — “Don’t get your hopes up” or “Don’t hold your breath” were said to prevent the shock factor that often comes with life not going our way. Even when things are going great and everyone seems to be on the same page, our instinct is to be nervous. How can life be this good? Something’s gotta give.
What if we lived our lives without fear of rejection? What would that look like? Life has ups and downs, and while the lows in life don’t feel great, they open doors for other opportunities, ones we couldn’t have imagined. Not getting an interview with a role you were interested in may lead you to work at a place that is even better than what you initially thought you wanted to be a part of.
Living in the present moment and simply being with what is and not what should be will lead to a fulfilling life with whatever does or does not happen. Enjoy those joyful moments in life because things do change, whether good or bad. One moment becomes the next moment, each bringing a new opportunity.
We often pull away from the present when we feel the high of a good moment coming to a close — the last set of the music festival (Where’s the rest of my group? How am I going to get out of the parking lot?), the final day of summer vacation (I don’t want to go to back to reality on Monday), or your last day visiting your long distance bestie (all ya’ll can talk about is how you don’t want to leave).
To live without fear of rejection or the future is to live the most alive. It is to have full confidence in who you are and confidence in the fact that everything on this earth is temporary — the most memorable moments will end, people and places in your life will change, but you have made it this far. There are things you have now that you did not have this time last year that you had been hoping for.
Whatever that thing(s) is/are for you, why could that not happen again? Every move you make this year is leading you to that new city, that amazing friend group, the job you didn’t know you needed. Enjoy the joyous moments, the neutral ones, and take a breath during those challenging ones.
If you’re having difficulty remaining in the present moment, try noting in your head what you see, hear, or smell. You’ve got some incredible opportunities ahead of you. Go get ’em, tiger.
Here’s some recent Headspace episodes that had some great tips on staying present and enjoying the moment:
Espresso Patronum 